May 5, 2008

Again, today, I'm reading an article about unionization of charter schools. I've always supported unions; believe in public education; support community control of the schools, and I like the growing movement of alliances between groups of paremts and teachers striking for better quality education.

Thinking about this brings to mind a story from my life in the past that hardly seems could have been true. Not long after coming home to Ann  Arbor in 1977, I came across the Progressive Educators Network, because I was looking for networks to affiate with. I went on their weekend retreet. It was a strange exerience. I felt out place - like "all these people are professionals, and I'm not." They all have Master's degrees in Education, and teach College. I have a Masters, but not in Education - - I had taught one college class (I forget I'm 32, there are many years  ahead).

Why had I been so hard on myself? I become mentally ill. I was going through a process of "Baby steps" to become stable. I had been a professional in Lynn and a Networker. It was important to "expose myself" to a group like this. As it turned out, the group wasn't right for me . But there was also the issue of self-denegrenigration that I've been working working on in Therapy for all these years.

Noone will allow me (or, I can't allow myself), to play at work or work at play, to be a thousand dfferent people every day.                      
To sing songs of struggle, fashion tools of joy, to live in every moment, not as man nor boy, but just a crazy fool.
Who knowsthis prescious secret: see who has the power, know who makes the rules, recognizes the wise are often labeled fools.  

Friday, May 4 2008

John liked the lines of poetry I recited this morning. I've been stuggling for years put poetry on here. Emily came in; I asked if she'd read  a few. She said this is the on she likes:

                                  April Fool

I want to be an actor on a stage of make believe. 

Where I can run, and laugf, and play and magic stories weave.

---No! No! No! That's just a flight of fancy; you know that's not the way. It has to be in the humdrum every day. 

Thurs., May 2, 2008

2 points:  

 1) people are running around all over themselves to say how handsome I am. Nobody can understand when I say I never wanted to conform. 

 2) I still have to deal with staff telling me, I"m sorry, I have to get back to work now." Right now, it means most to me because it has more to do with the time I have to spend with our Administrator, Emily, before she leaves for good toomorroww.

Sat. April 28, 2008

I've had a "writer's block", again, because every day something comes along I'd like to write about,but then there's something else in the news that seems more important for me to comment on; at the stime, there, such an incredrible amount of material on my computer, much of it written by well-known people, I wonder if I have much to contribute. I'm very upset now; this is hard to write       
 It's not that amazing, knowing who I am, that it's been sheer torture the last few days as every woman after another comes up to me and says OOO,DAAVID, You Look So Handsome. Then I say, But what about the beard? Don't you think she chopped the beard off to much? I explain again that I never wanted to be a conformsit, but nobody here can understand why I wouldn't want to be handsome.

One thing I've just learned about myself: yesterday,John said I might be meditating when I sit in silence. That's interesting! Something to explore more. Ram Dass' book is good for that. Which reminds me, I've dicovered a beutiful book of poetry by a political prisoner. The point being that I want a book of poetry and stories. I keep thinking to begin on the Blogg,         

Feb., 15, 2018
Struggluggling to understand nature of the health system dialalically; how I fit into it, having lived in this system now for many years. To what extent am I oppressed? It's clear I am, in a certain sense, because I can't get out of this situation.