Nov. 22, 2018

The new corporation, Iluminate, allowed a certain "opportunity" for residents to bring concerns directly to staff. Cindy, a resident, was elected President of the Resident Council. I became enamored of her. A neww phenomenon developed that upset me a great deal: "Women's Dinner's." They were declaring their right to meet without men to talk about things "of interest to women."               

Things have been changing in that regard. I've been able to insert myself sometims into their "club." Tonight space was made for me because the man who's pretty much in charge of the show "convinced people I was wanted."

There's so much more I'd want to write. It's getting very late.           I need to stop.        

Nov. 22, 2018

It's Thanksgiving. It's time, now, to open up  this page, which has been silent for a long time due to writer's block (I had'nt wanted to write anything about me, or politics - I think I became depressed because of the drastic changes going on here since the sale of this    building.                   

Sept. 9, 2018

When I  first came here, six years ago, I was surprised at how many aides watch Law and Order SVU. For years it's been my favorate show. I discovered even some nurses like it; I asked one why - she said because the crimals are always brought to jusice.

This is all I can write tonight. I have  to get ready for bed. There's a lot more to this piece - specifically what I learneed from an episode I saw today that taught me something about what residents in this place have been telling me: construstive criscism of my behavior.

Sept. 7, 2018

                               A New Poem

                        "Look Back In Anger"

The  Pain whipping around my neck, searing into my skin - a jabbing pain.

Life Blood is pouring forth. 

Is this how I want to see myself leave this World?

                                   ************

In my Life I have seen great pain and great happiness. 

Like Picaso when painting Guernica, he saw "great respect for human suffering."

Friday, June 15

John  said I'm feeling well this morning. I told him he looked strange when talking with me about the old friends from SDS. He said it was my perception. Comrades, no time for friendsip - caused hard feelings. (John says, at the time). 

Saturday, June 9, 2017

Who can believe I woke up this morning thinking it's Tues.? 

John and I had a great session Friday. 

We're workin on my "creative genious." I finally revealed to him how I read my poetry over and over, each time thinking it's good or no good. John is so perceptive: he said: " do you really think you're poetry is doegrrele?"  That word stopped me in my tracks. Now I can't write anymore. I've been stopped in my tracks. Later I'll get back up and contintue. I'll find an old poem, or write a new one. I'm also thinking of doing something in a different vein: cultural "analysis" of our dining room. 

June 4,  2018

What I meant below is that I became aware of some behaviors of mine that served to alienate me from close friends in the sixties, and then I understand better why I always insist I want to be a non-conformist. It has to do with how I feel different than other residents. Aides tell me to not worry about other people - it becomes an issue of whether I "care." This is a way of not conforming to a norm. People here don't want anybody to worry about anything. 

I need to say something about what's going on outside this place. I'm so happy to read about March for Our Lives and other efforts to stimulate change at the grass-roots; also the progressive senitors who've announce a bid for President running without money from sum Superpacas.